Thursday, October 08, 2015

Douchebag Central

Nozawa Bar
212 North Canon Drive
Beverly Hills, CA  90210
Chef Osamu Fujita
Dinner only Monday through Saturday

Sugarfish Sushi is located a couple of blocks away from a Cheesecake Factory that has valet parking and Spago Beverly Hills.  Located at the back of Sugarfish is Nozawa Bar, a private dining room sushi counter where the true douchebags dine.  If you don't know sushi, just shut up.  Don't throw ikura into your sake glass and shoot them.  Also, while it is correct to eat sushi with your fingers, it is not appropriate to eat sashimi with your fingers, so don't tell your guests to do so.  You may also want check with your new girlfriend with the inflated boobs and lips and expensive haircoloring whether she eats raw fish before infecting the entire sushi bar with your cologne.

Moving on from the diners to the food:  I have never seen a sushi counter with 8-10 guests where sushi is made by assembly line.  I don't recall even the cooks at the sushi boat counters in a Taiwan mall preparing sushi in this manner.  Chef Fujita slices the fish (into enormous, inelegant chunks) and also makes a series of rice balls.  One of his sous chefs places each fish slice on top of each bald nigiri, then another sous chef drizzles the soy sauce across the top of the assembled sushi.  Then the individual plates, each containing one such sushi piece, get passed around to each diner at the counter.  The drizzling of soy sauce over the plate, instead of brushing across the top of the fish, caused the soy sauce to seep into the rice, which was already somewhat soggy from being prepared with too much vinegar and so loosely packed that every piece fell apart when picked up.

If you use your hands to eat the sushi, as one generally should, you need to ask for an oshiburi, which is not automatically provided.  Oddly, however, the sushi platter in front of each diner with ginger and wasabi decorating the corner-- never used since individual plates for each piece of sushi are handed out for each course-- and chopsticks were replaced midway through the meal.  The oshiburi is a wetnap in a plastic packet....

Don't even get me started on the ankimo meatball drowned in miso sauce or the giant burrito sized hand rolls with too much ground-up fish.

At least the fish for the sushi was not pre-sliced.

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